When Innocence and Ambitions marry…
A rolled up paper , a long towel or a chunni [Preferably black] and a four-legged teapoy (a four-legged stool) placed upside down. These were the ‘ingredients’ used by my granny so that I’d stop running about as a kid. Wondering why? It was a new remedy discovered by her for my incurable and unbearable mischiefs. Let me explain:
After a long episode of running behind me and calling out for me, my granny gives me the above mentioned magical stuff. I tie the towel around my neck (You guessed it right! Superman has got one like mine), roll up the paper in my hand and climb into the upside-down teapoy.
Lo and behold! I get transformed into my own role model -A lawyer![Please don’t ask me where I got these ideas from. I was an innocent little kid then. C’mon!] 😉 Doing my favorite job – Non stop talking!!!
Er.. eh… I know… That is of course the funny part. An advocate does his talking outside the ‘teapoy’ and the defendant or the plaintiff or the witnesses ‘get to‘ <yes! It was a privilege> stand inside the ‘teapoy’. Standing inside the teapoy, the long black gown and the right to talk as much as I wanted were the three things that tempted me equally for which, I didn’t mind breaking a few rules in the game. I’d wear the gown, I’d do the talking and I’ll stand inside the teapoy!! 😛
As years passed by, the stool had become too small for me. Tying chunni around the neck was too childish and there were many ‘cool’ things to do besides imitating a lawyer. I liked kids! I would become a kindergarten teacher. All kids flocking around me, showing me all their drawings, telling me about what happened yesterday and looking at me with as though I was their angel. I’d be a star for the kids! Those were the privileges given to the KG teacher. This was followed by,
Math is a subject I like. I wouldn’t mind teaching Math in high school. Not a bad idea at all.
But I like music too! How about giving music lessons as a side job? Hang on! *gets dreamy… sees stars* Playback singer sounds cool !!! And then I come back from my reverie <That was too much>
Further in High School when I began scoring good marks consistently in one subject, I decided I would become ‘that‘ lecturer. That is how Sanskrit came into my ambitions list. I adored my Sanskrit teacher and still am a fan of hers. I even discussed with my parents regarding taking up teaching Sanskrit as a profession!
<Oh My! I did really discuss that!?>
And my parents answered all my queries. They knew me too well I guess. They knew this too was one of my passing fantasies.
Things never ended with this. There were many more – Artist, Fashion designer, Painter, Dancer, Writer, Journalist…
<What was I thinking about myself?>
I even imagined that I was a heroine in a movie, that someone was shooting the movie from various angles and I was the center of attraction -You know! The dreamy heroine types! Ha ha!
I wouldn’t blame anyone if -after reading this – they laugh their heads off because I myself can’t control my laughter. But I swear I’m neither making all this up, nor would I say that I am good at all this. But they were ‘The ambitions‘ and when I talked about them, listeners had to take them seriously! lol!.
You wouldn’t be surprised if I say that today I am not aiming to become any of the above said persons because life doesn’t always give you what you just dream for. It gives you what you dream and work for. I am working for something entirely different. I can neither wear a black gown, nor will kids flock around me admiring me. In this profession, people wouldn’t applaud for me the way they used to applaud when I used to sing.
Being a student of Chartered Accountancy, I myself am bewildered when I notice how the nature of my ambitions were entirely different from what I have chosen now. How circumstances have changed, how I have changed and how my views have changed.
Today, as I move towards my goal I wish I could once again become the innocent four-year-old climbing into the stool with a roll of paper and a towel. Within seconds I used to own the world! I used to be the happiest kid (Happiest lawyer ;)) once I got into the stool. My desires were ordinary and easily achievable and my happiness on achieving them were extraordinary.