The Lord's Laments

Today, as I was browsing through Facebook, a series of satirical quotes caught my attention. The author portrays how certain religious beliefs scream irony so much so that even God is flabbergasted. But, we humans do not question them because come on! We go to hell if we do. And no! You don’t need to know where Hell is. One simply does not ask such questions.
The series were named ‘Daiva Vilapangal’ or God’s Laments by one Mr. Mahesh Haridas. Each one of them focusses on The Lord Almighty’s worries and how he must be lamenting about them.
All credits for the idea and images go to Mr. Mahesh Haridas. Those who know Malayalam, can check the post here. For the rest, I have given the translations below. I apologize in advance for my inability to give the exact translation.
The Lord’s Lament 1

The Lord is in distress. He received crores of money in the form of offerings and the last date to pay his tax dues is fast approaching.

Should The Lord pay taxes? But isn’t he the one who created us and the entire universe? Then why would he pay tax? Does it mean that he is dependent on the government and that he has to abide by the laws and regulations? So, the law makers are above God, right?
The Lord’s Lament – 2

The God of Death, Yama decided to give our Lord a treat for having helped him meet his targets. As usual, all the killings on Earth was in the name of God.

I have my God and you all have to follow my God. No! Your God isn’t the real one. We protect our God and if you do anything to tarnish his image, you will be facing us.
And so we fight and die. Now, if we die, who will protect our God? He will perish without us. Oh dear!
The Lord’s Lament – 3

On a closer look at Earth, he saw that the walls were all covered with messages and quotes in his name and he wondered, When on Earth did I say all that?

“You shouldn’t love the same gender. Why do you think I created two genders? I would have created males alone or females alone if it was allowed. I decide whom you love. Alright?”
“Menstruating women shouldn’t enter certain places of worship. It infuriates me and my wrath will be upon you!”
“Are you a Hindu marrying a Christian? Henceforth, I do not want to see you. I prohibit your entry into my home.”
“Share my picture on Facebook. Else, you will hear a bad news in 2 hours and will have bad luck for the next 10 years.”
God – Whaaaaat!? Someone is impersonating me!
People – Oh shut up! You aren’t the real God. Real God says things like those. ^_^
The Lord’s Lament – 4

An arrest warrant for God. Due to the fireworks conducted to please The Lord, hundreds lost their lives.

“Um… tell me how people died, again? Er… was I supposed to watch the fireworks? I was enjoying my Pizza.”
The Lord’s Lament – 5

The Lord was the judge and he gave away prizes to the committee members who played movie songs the loudest, to entertain him during the festival.

“Hey! Can someone play that song from the latest Rajnikanth movie? I like that guy! 😀 ”
The Lord’s Lament – 6

The establishment made in the name of God, without his knowledge, was destroyed and in its place, another building was constructed again in the name of God. He looked at these humans and said, “(Damn!) I should have planted some plantains in their place.”

Some of them are equally hilarious and disturbing. For instance, the last one. According to some, if one doesn’t belong to their religion, one is not religious at all. I personally know people who believe so.
Some of the comments on these posts said that festivals and fireworks weren’t for God’s entertainment but for ours. The question is, if certain entertainments cause trouble and nuisance, is it necessary in the name of religion? Will we lose anything by reducing some of the festivities? This is my opinion and I know you will have yours. I respect that. But the answer ‘This has been followed for years and this should continue’ is too vague and unsettling.
To believe or not to believe is up to people. But stereotyping the God you have never seen and expecting people to follow your version of it, manipulating religious practices as per your convenience, using fear as a tool to get things done in the name of God only depicts the crookedness of human minds.
Your God is your conscience. Your version of God need not tally with everyone else’s version. As long as your deeds do not hurt anyone physically or mentally, you are worshipping your God right.
How different, peaceful and beautiful the world would be if each one of us minded our own business, ensured that we did not hurt our fellow beings through words or deeds, and extended our hands when someone was in need?

Featured image courtesy:

PS – I am not an athiest. I am religious in my own way yet, that doesn’t stop me from questioning certain beliefs. I do not have any grudge towards any religion. If the mention of any names hurt your sentiments, I apologize. It wasn’t intentional. Meanwhile, some of the sentences explicitly display my belief and I do not apologize for those. To know the difference, you may ask me. Thanks 🙂

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  1. shreyans

    Every point is true…if there is really a god and if it created us, then why do the religions created god? To create the creator is illogical…thank you for this post..

    1. Ranjini

      Exactly! People turn deaf to questions such as these. Let them worship any Gods. It is fine as long as they don’t force illogical things upon us or cause inconvenience to others in the name of God.

  2. Aneesh Sreekumar

    Religion per se is not bad ! You take out religion and everything becomes fair! You can justify anything!!! We need to change the way it is being practised ! By refining the tenets and the practitioners! Ideally it means culture replacing scripture but today art literature are out and mere entertainment dominates ! Nice post!

    1. Ranjini

      Religion isn’t bad, I agree. But there is also the law so you really can’t say everything becomes fair when you take religion out. The problem will be that many people’s lives depend upon religion. Many are alive because they believe in their version of God. They find peace in all those rituals and correlate the benefits to the rituals. If that is taken out, it will destroy them.
      And yes, too much of anything is dangerous. We should change the way it is practised. 🙂

      1. Aneesh Sreekumar

        No No No !! Aiyyooo njan vicharichathu thanney nadannu !! You misinterpreted the “You take out religion and everything becomes fair”part! See when I typed those words above I had a beautiful quote by Doesteovsky at the back of my mind. Enikku aa quote thappi eduthu commentsil paste cheyyanulla madi, pinne comment pettannu cheyannulla dhrithi ellam koodey aayappol I just went for my version, I mean, You take out religion and everything becomes fair !!
        Enikku urappaayirunnu that you will misinterpret it:
        Okay here is the original comment: “Dostoevsky, “If God doesn’t exist, everything is permissible.” Katthiyo ???
        Shari alley ? Deivam illayirunnenkil Dishonesty, Cheating, DisLoyalty, Love, ImPatience, Incest and many other vices enniva maathramey kaanuvayirunnullu ? Alley ?? I was asking the same thing…. That if you take out religion the above vices couldve easily become the rule and we would be living in a brutal world!! Every law in this entire world can be found in a simplified form in all religions across the world !!! For example : Drunken drive thanney edukkam! If you drink and drive there is a fine and imprisonment i guess !! Ottanoottathil the above laws promotes safe driving, safe roads, safe transport and safety!! Pakshey deep down It values LIVES OF FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS ! which will be the cardinal virtue of many religions !!
        I am not saying that religon is all good!! They contain good and bad things in equal measure especially misogyny…..
        And no I dont support rituals are extra fittings to religions !!They promote superstitions !! aana ezhunullathu was not even part of dravidian culture our culture but thats being practised promoting brutality!!
        See the logic is this: As society progresses from nomadic to tribal to agricultural to urban to Industrial to Services to post industrial , tradition/religion/scripture/superstition/obedience will be replaced by science/progress/reason/innovation and defiance…..And that has been the case with all the societies across the world…..India too is in that process….. But instead of religon getting replaced by reason , fundamentalism and superstition are making a comeback as a reaction to capitalism which at best promotes crass consumerism and materialism and escapist entertainment. So cultures across the world are getting homogenized due to globalisation through pepsi, coke, mc donalds, porn, facebook, escapist entertainment hollywood and what not ………through print, news channels, cable televions and many such sources………
        They should ideally promote art, literature, thought provoking movies, architecture through museums and cocert halls but its not happening…….
        As we are progressing our culture is getting regressive hence religion is making a comeback amidst many uncertainities !!!
        The original post which you wrote about carries mainly the ritual aspects of religion but I was just throwing some light on the other good parts of religion !!
        I think i left you more confused!!
        Sorry I cannot contain everything in one comment !! Its all linked and mixed up!! Its good if you have a perspective on things!! A method to understand this madness !!! May be when we meet in person we can have a conversation !!!

        1. Ranjini

          Hehe. You didn’t have to write so much. I didn’t misinterpret it. I was replying along the same lines too. Except, I was saying, if there is no religion, law could do the same. I meant, I don’t think the problem will be that everything will become fair, instead it will be rest of the things I said. 🙂 Onnude vayich noku.

          1. Aneesh Sreekumar

            Yeah I got your point !! I was just trying to make sure that I made myself very clear !! And convey the fact that things are really deeper and connected !! Yeah Laws to a great extent will help replace scripture but the problem is that they are coercive and we dont internalise it! If we repeal any laws for example ban on smoking is taken away every body will start smoking again!! But culture i mean art and literature can change a person from the inside… that should be the purpose of novels and music and art !! to build a better society !!
            But that lengthy comment, I guess you understood that there could be progress and sabotage to progress as well !!

          2. Ranjini

            Mm. That is true. People wouldn’t internalise it. Yes yes I understood that. Was in a hurry to tell you that I hadn’t misinterpreted it 🙂

          3. Aneesh Sreekumar

            But you reminded me about laws.As society evolves laws too evolve !! From 10 lashes/chopping off fingers for a theft to a fine and an imprisonment term! The idea behind the former was to really beat the individual into submission but the latter or todays laws is reformation… Azhikalkullil kidannu manasantharapettu oru nalla pouran aayi thirichu samoohathilekku varika ennathanu lakshyam…..i mean Reformative laws and not Repressive !! But yes art is more powerful !! Athukondu Binale ykku poi …….experience iney patti post ezhuthanam ketto ??? Coz art is not for art’s sake !!

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