This is the 6th post of the series of posts I wrote on Self Development. I have started with simple and easy steps for Self Development in my first post and proceeded with various facets of it in the next few posts. If you intend to start working on it, I request you to begin with the 1st post.
Do you love yourself? To this question, most of the people would say yes but some would secretly ask themselves again, do I? I did not love myself at one point of time. It was evident in my behavior and looks. But I overcame that with much difficulty and now if you know me, you will know that I am very confident about myself and I absolutely adore me :D. I had to include this post for those who couldn’t overcome the self doubt.
1. Acknowledge your ‘flaws’
All of us have our ‘flaws’. I am talking about the insecurities here – too thin, too fat, too dark, too pale, too short, too tall, too shy, stammers, not very sociable and so on. Firstly, these aren’t flaws. You are merely different from the others and they consider anything different from themselves, a flaw. You need to realize it with conviction. For that, you need to acknowledge and embrace these flaws.
Me? I am dark complexioned. I used to spend years crying over it when my relatives and friends pointed it out. I hadn’t accepted the fact that I am dusky. I overcame it after lots of struggles and now when someone asks me to do something about my color, I tell them I like it. The truth is, I am dusky and I don’t want to change anything about me.
2. ‘Reasons I Love Myself’ List
Erm… yes I do have a thing with lists :P.
You are lovable. There is some feature of yours that you like. You just have to find it. Looks aren’t everything. But in order to survive on this Earth, you need to love yourself. You are your companion and if you don’t like your own company, life will be difficult till the end. Write down 3 things you love about yourself with reasons. Without the reasons you won’t convince yourself. Try adding a new reason every few days. Every day for 30 days and beyond if possible.
3. Find Your Confident Look
Are looks important? Yes and No. During some days, when you get ready to leave your house, you feel you look wonderful. While on other days, you don’t seem up to the mark. Different types of clothes & hairstyles affect your mood and confidence. Observe the connection between your mood and your clothes/dressing style. In a month’s time, you will be able to tell which clothes make you anxious, comfortable or confident. Find the dress that makes you feel like you rule the world. Buy more of similar stuff and soon this newfound confidence will permanently make you feel good about yourself.
4. Experiment on yourself
One body, one life, so little time. Would you rather be the same or would you try out new things to explore your limits? Try new food, new clothes, new styles, new things, a cocky outfit, people’s reaction and how you feel about it.
Due to my complexion complex, I used to wear clothes that made me close to invisible. Thanks to a bunch of good friends, I started feeling better about myself and began to wear things I liked. It was experimental for me since I had never worn them. I was greeted with mockery and I persisted. The thing with mockery is that it stops being funny after the third time ;). Now I am known for the new styles I embrace and my friends love that about me.
I love myself more now since I wear what I want. If I hadn’t experimented, I’d still have been trying to be invisible.
5. Exercising Self Love
This is an activity I came across through the site 30 Days of Self-Love. Nothing too difficult. Every day, you need to make a video saying I Love you to yourself. Practice this for 30 days. This practice came about after watching Dr. Masaru Emoto’s rice experiment. To know more, watch this video:
6. Go easy on yourself
If you had complexes, you were hard on yourself. It wasn’t your fault. You just need to work on it like I mentioned above. If you made mistakes in the past, realized and repented, it is over. You are not the same person now. Why should the new you worry over something the old you did? Go easy on yourself. Let it go. Embrace the lesson and your renewed self. Stop blaming or torturing yourself with your past.
7. Pamper Yourself – Once in a week, pamper yourself. Treat your body and mind. Get a spa, binge watch a series or a movie you wanted to watch, go on a trip, eat what you crave for. No one knows you better than yourself. Save for something you have wanted for a long time and buy it.
My friend bought a polaroid camera because she had been yearning to own one for years. Her relatives and friends accused her of wasting money. I thought it was okay. She is not the type to buy unnecessary things every other day. She was earning and she decided to own something she had always wanted. If you can’t own what you want, then what is the whole point of working and earning money?
You have saved enough. You have put others’ comfort first long enough. Once in a while, buy something for yourself even if it isn’t a necessity. Just know where to draw the line.
Love yourself so much that you don’t need anyone else to tell you how lovable you are. I know I am awesome. So are you.