Let’s Look at Our Parents Without The Capes

 

 

Remember that time when you made a mistake, your parents told you that you were wrong, maybe a bit too harshly but then again, poured honey on your wounds, kissed the pain away and then completely forgot about the mistake?

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That is what they are supposed to do. Because you were just a child and children need guidance. You were new to childhood and that meant making mistakes.

Would you have done the same as easily, if they had made a mistake?

Maybe. Maybe not!

But why?

Because they are parents. Grown ups! They are responsible for another human.

But aren’t they new to parenting?

A couple of weeks back, my mother told me something along the lines of, ‘Maybe the decisions I took for you were wrong.’

That got me thinking. Maybe she was wrong, maybe not. But I couldn’t blame her if they were. She was only being a mother and doing what she thought was the best for me at the time. How many times have we thought that our decisions were perfect when we made them only to realize that they weren’t? Every parent has his/her child’s best interests at heart. They wouldn’t do anything to sabotage their child’s life. That being said, they aren’t geniuses at parenting. They are new to parenting as much as children are new to being children. Then why is there an unfair expectation and pressure for parents?

I am referring to those situations where they did make an error of judgement, we did tell them a bit too harshly that they were wrong and instead of pouring honey on the wounds, kissing the pain away and forgetting it, people kept pricking the wounds reminding them of the mistakes they made.

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I am referring to the society’s unfair expectations from parents. Our unfair expectations from them where they are expected to be perfect, where they are under pressure to be THE role models who just cannot afford to make mistakes and if they do, they aren’t allowed to forget those mistakes for a long long time.

I am referring only and only to those decisions that they made out of love rather than out of any other social elements.

And we aren’t even aware of this pressure because it is normal. We expect them to have the answers and to do the right thing. We have been forcing them into a cape and a Super-hero suit while they have been struggling to fit into the role for which they have never gotten any training. But guess what? It is high time that we the children of all ages realize that parents are humans just like us. If they have the superpowers we thought they had, many of the them wouldn’t watch helplessly as their children struggle in pain. I remember the look in my mother’s eyes as I was struggling with an unnatural stomach pain and she had done everything she could to reduce it, but yet I was suffering.

 

We think they are Super-humans and so their minor mistakes seem huge to us. But instead, we need to realize that they are mere mortals, and then look at the magnificence of the things they did for us. The things we thought they did because they were Supermoms and Superdads, they did them being simple humans. THAT takes them to a whole new level. 

So from now on, maybe we should go easy on them.

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To all the parents,

It is okay.

We love you.

To all the Mothers, and the Fathers handling the maternal role,

Happy Mother’s Day.

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So do you think there is an unfair pressure on parents? How can we rectify that?

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14 thoughts on “Let’s Look at Our Parents Without The Capes

  1. As a mother now, I think we can only truly appreciate the magnitude of our parents’ sacrifices and the weight of parenthood after becoming one. There is unfair pressure from society as well as from ourselves to be the “perfect” parent, and I think the way we can alleviate this is to remember we are just trying to do our best. Very thoughtful write, thank you.

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  2. It’s fine to make mistakes and yes we’ve been too harsh on our parents. Guilty as charged. We don’t realize how we are ordinary mortals who trip, get up and keep walking. One of the most sensible posts on parents. We tend to forget about our mistakes as children.

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  3. Hi Ranjini! I have just nominated you for the liebster award. It requires you to write a post about it and answer some questions about yourself if you would like to. You can find the post on my blog 🙂

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  4. A really great perspective, this. I was on your Instagram profile when this link caught my eye and I wanted to find out whether the title really meant what I thought it did, and I ended up here. So HI 🙂

    Some time ago, I realized that my single parent is only human, that she needn’t have all the right solutions all the time, and that she is really doing the best she can. It was a bit of shock, this realization. But I’ve new-found respect for this human who took the fate of another in her hands and did the very very best she could. Gave me another perspective on parenting, really.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I get it. I always say my Mom is a supermom. I still do. But there was a point when I realized that I actually did think she had the solution to everything on Earth. When I realized that wasn’t true, it shocked me. But also I understood that she was much more than a Superhuman because she wasn’t born with Super powers. That made me write this post 🙂

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  5. I completely agree with your sentiment behind this post. Parents often have this pressure to be perfect, make the exact right choice, do everything well, and all the time.

    But if you think about it, it’s such a ridiculous expectation from anyone, because after all they are only human. Prone to missteps and mistakes as much as anyone else.

    Which is why, like you said, as long as the action/decision comes from a place of love, we need to learn to give them more grace.

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  6. This is a beautiful post. Yes, parents do make mistakes. They are human as well, right? But, hey, our parents are the closest we’ll get to superheroes in real life. And its ok if they goof up. Even Superman has his kryptonite.

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  7. My mother often tells me that “we made some mistakes while we brought you up. We were too young ourselves and so uncertain about so many things. But trust me that we only had your well being and bright future in our minds always.” I guess thats the thing about parenting. No parent ever has any bad intentions for their kids, yet they may make mistakes. I understand this better as a parent.

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