6 Vital Elements of the Self to Focus on During Lock-down
During Lock-down, either of the two have caused you pain; being with your loved ones or being away from them. Staying indoors with a bunch of people, with no escape has its own boons and banes. In this post, I have brushed on 6 Vital elements of our lives that contribute to 95% of our mental and physical well-being. For many of us, the Lock-down was a test of our connection with these elements. If you haven’t considered this before, you may consider improving all or any of these aspects during the remainder of the lock-down:
PASSION -On Achieving The Goals in our Lives
I have always wanted to be a published author. During the beginning of the lock-down, I had the whole day to myself with no responsibilities and yet I did not work on my book or my art, the way I was supposed to. This made me realize something. The passions I have, the need to become an author, or an artist were all in the back burner all these years not because I did not have the time or the resources, but because I wasn’t willing to give it my everything. I lacked discipline.
If you are content with yourself, this doesn’t apply to you. But if you aren’t, if you want to fulfill your dreams while having a full time job, you need to start, hustle, make a goal chart and be consistent. There is only NOW! It took a lock-down, lots of wasted time and resources for me to look at it in the face.
If I need to become an author, I need to start writing no matter what! I hope you stop waiting and start working on your passion as well. Take the first step. There’s no other cue.
FAMILY – On Understanding Our family.
You grew up with a certain version of family. Some people have been really strict with you, some haven’t had enough time for you while some couldn’t take their eyes off their problems to really look at you. If after a long gap you have had to stay in a house together and spend time with them, you might have noticed that they have softened, that they had a reason for the way they behaved and now they are proud of the person you have become.
As for me, I am understanding my parents better and I don’t know if it’s because I have changed or they have. I am in the process of understanding my sister who has been re-inventing herself pretty rapidly. We just need to accept them and let them be.
And if you look within, you’ll know that you have grown enough to accept them for what they are. You can see that they don’t resist you anymore and it is time you give in too.
FRIENDSHIP – On the definitions and ideas of friends
We haven’t met our friends in a very long time and yet we are all connected. I feel the lock-down and the physical distance it brought connected us even better. I am getting more calls from friends and we are talking more about each others lives as opposed to before lock-down. As some people say, the Lock-down has shown us who our true friends are.
If someone hasn’t called you yet, do give them a call. Let them know that you remember them.
TOUCH – On underestimating the value of touch
My sister and I share a room. I am a very shallow sleeper and lightest of the sounds wake me up. So if I am stressed, I don’t sleep well at all. One night, I was in so much distress and it looked like I was having a nightmare. My sister tried waking me up, but I didn’t and so she hugged me and immediately I went back to sleep. I remember just the last part and the relief I felt when she hugged me. I have not been into hugs or physical display of emotions, but during the last couple of years, I have been trying to express my love for people through hugs.
During the last one month, I have missed hugging my grandmother as she is at my Uncle’s place. The last time she asked for a hug, I couldn’t give her as I had just come home from Bangalore and didn’t want to take a risk. Since then, I have been waiting to hug her. Once this is over, I’ll hug her more often and more mindfully.
If someone you know needs a hug, please give them. If you miss hugging someone, this will all be over. Promise yourself and tell them that you’ll hug them more often.
EMOTIONS – On emotions that weren’t meant to be expressed, but suppressed and let out in solitude.
We have been taught well to hide emotions and we really don’t know how to process or express our emotions well. We should be able to do that even after the lock-down. The answer to ‘How are you’ has always been ‘fine’, ‘okay’ or ‘not okay’ but nothing more. But to some people, we can answer with ‘I am not feeling like myself because I fought with my father’ or, ‘I feel lonely because I don’t think my friends will understand what I am going through.’ These are raw and real emotions and giving words to our emotions is important if we need to process them and let them out.
Now, if you are not feeling like discussing it, you can leave it at, ‘I feel depressed but I don’t want to talk about that right now.’ I practiced this during these days and I felt my friends responding. The bottom-line, you need to start processing your feelings. Give voice to them.
RELATIONSHIP – On struggling with the various forms of Love or no Love
Most of what we know about Love is what we heard and saw from around us. So most of us cling to someone else’s or Bollywood’s idea of Love. We don’t realize that we can have our versions of Love and it is alright if the world cannot accept that.
During the last one month, you have had to spend too much time with your Love, while some others spent too much time away from their Love craving for a glance, for their touch. Some of you realized that everything you want you had right there. For others it was a period where you drove each other crazy and you can’t wait for a break from each other. For some it was a battle; the real one with the virus where you were on the verge of losing your loved ones, while a few actually did.
For the ones in between, here’s my two pennies worth. I wouldn’t say it is simple. But if you notice that you’re brooding over the Love in your life way too often and wondering if it is worth it, it is not. Because you’re spending more time brooding over than being in Love! But again, these are all subjective right?
I’d like to think that at the end of the lock-down each of us would have become better people. I hope we have understood our close ones better, ourselves better and I hope we have made peace with the battles that we have been fighting during the lock-down. So do you think the lock-down made you stronger with respect to any of these Vital Elements?