The Ebb and Flow of my Fitness Journey – Part 1
6th July 2021
I have always read and listened to the stories of fitness freaks; people who have been into fitness for years, who have a solid routine and who cannot think of a day without working out. While what they do is extremely interesting, I never could relate to them when they say they had a phase when they did not work out. Hence I, being a beginner, decided to journal my journey through my blog. The aim is to document my struggles as and when they happen and come back to this a few years later to see how far I have come. Also, I know that one day, fitness will become a part of my routine and these posts will serve as a ray of hope for anyone who would be, where I am now.
I started thinking about my fitness for the first time in 2017. I had completed my CA, gotten a job and the years of sedentary lifestyle, studying for over 10 hours a day, had given me a huge belly. I had just relocated to Bangalore and decided to go for walks everyday; such a simple thing to do. I purchased my first ever running shoes, track pants and top, and went for a walk every day for a few weeks. No points for guessing, soon I slacked.
Between then and March 2020 (pandemic), I kept going for walks, I joined a Yoga coaching center, went religiously for about a month and then stopped, went to the Gym for a month because I had free Fitpass subscription, I tried so many Apps; Step set Go, Google Fit, Nike Training Club, 2-3 Yoga Apps. Even now I have the Down Yoga App in my phone. I’d go for these for a maximum of one or two months and give up.
Come March 2020, the pandemic brought everything to a standstill, I had a job change which increased my work pressure and soon I found myself seated in awkward postures for over 12 hours. Needless to say, 4 months into the pandemic I was having panic attacks, burn outs, existential crisis, body pains, I had put on so much weight, my clothes didn’t fit, and all of a sudden, nothing seemed right! I was 32 years old, unmarried, in an unsatisfactory job with low pay and hectic work, I wasn’t happy with my body, my mental and physical health.
I decided to focus on one thing at a time. I started going for treatments for my back pain. Sitting, standing or sleeping was becoming impossible. After lots of Ayurvedic treatments, Allopathic second opinions and medicines, by Jan 2021, my pains were subsiding and it was time for me to go back to Bangalore.
During this period, I was continuing to go for evening walks on and off; sometimes once a week, other times 6 days a week. I deliberated the need for a trainer. I definitely had a fall back mechanism but I wasn’t great at sticking to routines and I definitely didn’t know anything about exercises or what helped which part of the body. I thought it was time I invested in a fitness trainer and all I discussed this with my sister. She encouraged me, pushed me, suggested a trainer as well, forced me to pay up, admonished me if I slacked, cheered for me and voila! soon enough I was attending training sessions 3 days a week.
It was an 8 weeks session and I was present for most part of it.
Any waking hour of the day, I would say this a hundred times over; “On days that I workout, I am on fire. I feel like I can handle just about anything.” But none of this came to my mind when the alarm went off in the morning. I am a grumpy morning person and my mind is a manipulative bitch. During those 8 weeks, I woke up with so much difficulty. One morning, my mind almost made me switch off the wifi, inform my trainer that there was a network error and go back to sleep. I should be given an award for sticking through that session.
Anyway, except for 3-4 sessions, I finished my 8 weeks program and then again, my mind convinced me to take a week’s break. Needless to say, a week turned into a month, and then into two. My back pains returned, my tummy was beginning to say hello and alarms were going off in my head. But I kept snoozing the ones in my phone everyday. One day I snoozed all my alarms from 8.00 to 9.30 am every ten minutes. That’s the kind of attachment I have towards sleep. And so one thing is for sure! If I end up having a morning fitness routine, anybody in this world could have one.
As I mentioned in the beginning, this isn’t a story with a happy ending. This is a journal of my struggles with fitness and I am writing this because I believe I can overcome these struggles. For now I’ll leave you all here. If there’s one thing I am sure of about myself, I’ll pick up from where I left. It could be after a month, a year or after years. Whether it’s workout sessions or writing. So I will be back with the next part soon.
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