Finding Happiness, Self Improvement

A Revelation I Had About Happiness

31-07-2021, Saturday, 5.04 PM

I am out in my balcony enjoying my weekend and writing this blogpost. I haven’t been this peaceful in a long long time. But mind you, things aren’t perfect or all good in my life. Yet there is this strange peace and happiness within me. In this post, I am just going to brief you a bit about my day and my life currently and tell you about a revelation I had today about happiness.

My mother was recently diagnosed with Covid-19. She is currently admitted in Amrita Hospital, Kochi. This happened a week after I returned to Bangalore for some work. After lots of discussions, we decided that me going to Kochi won’t be a good idea given that there are currently no complications with her. I am grateful to the Universe for the zero complications bit.

Meanwhile, in Bangalore, I was having a difficult time suring the past one year with Colive. The entire period of stay with them was filled with battles and anxiety. So come what may, I was on a house hunting spree and I shifted to my new space. Right after, 2nd lockdown happened and I left for Kochi. It was a couple of weeks back that I returned, unpacked everything, and made my new house livable.

My sister tells me that I nest well and I have to agree. I don’t have very many furnitures here. I am in the process of compiling necessities and bringing some order in my life here. But I must say! I am loving the whole process and the freedom that comes with it.

Today I cleaned the entire house. Since there weren’t many furnitues, it was an easy and fulfilling job. There is a special joy in sitting down on a gleaming, clean, cool floor. I then had a pretty good breakfast with some sandwiches, an egg sunny side up, some musk melon and a hot chocolate. I believe in having happy meals during the weekends.

I lazed around a bit after cleaning the kitchen counter, sink and toilet. I didn’t want to miss out on that part, I mean let’s be realistic. But I don’t feel exhausted after all that. I think I understand what my grandmother finds in cleaning; a joy of seeing everything clean and in place. It gives a strong sense of your life being in order! I feel in control.

I remember lazing in my bed and thinking how much I loved the place. My brains as usual were chattering about the things I need to do; paint, sing, make macrame, write blog post, plan next week’s meal etc. But for some time, I managed to shush them and enjoy the here and now. I felt a deep sense of gratitude seeing the leaves rustling outside my window, the sunlight filtering through, and the abundance of breeze that came into my home.

I had some calls with friends and then had a simple lunch. Leftover green gram curry and some Kanji (Rice gruel). I had less lunch since the leftover curry was less and so I planned to have tea and snacks early. Then I decided to bit down my temptation to watch Netflix and started reading up for my blog. So, here I am.

Today when I stood in my clean, shiny room with a perfectly made bed and the neatly arranged table, I was smiling from ear to ear. I wondered why I was so happy. I did not accomplish anything. More often than not, I feel happy when I record a song, create a painting or finish a blogpost. In this case I only had cleaned my house and while that’s always a reason for relief, this happiness was something else. It wasn’t exhilarating. It was peaceful. There was contentment. It came from me not fixating on a to-do list or productivity. It came from just being there and looking around with no rush or stress. For the first time in a long time, I associated Happiness to something other than productivity.

I’d probably publish this post tomorrow as a part of Blogchatter’s Half Marathon that runs from 1st to 15th August. I am sending a lot of peace and contentment to you through this post. When you finish reading this post, I want you to get rid of any to-do lists that you might have and simply look around you. Listen to the sounds, enjoy the view outside. They need not be of birds and leaves. They could be something as simple as your neighbour talking, a child playing, a blank wall or vehicles passing by. But if you really look with no judgements, you will admire them as a part of your here and now.

Do you know what I see now? I see a white 5 storeyed building with a yellow water ttank on top. The windows in the 3rd floor are open while the rest are shut. I can see the staircase landings on each floor and there’s not a person in sight. It’s either abandoned or the people are away or sleeping. I’d like to think that they are all inside with their families on a Saturday afternoon, sleeping or watching TV. The hall is probably a mess and the kitchen is buzzing with activity. It’s not perfect. But it’s alive, cosy, homey and it is in the now and here. So tell me. How is your here and now?

This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon